God Grant Me the Dignity

I never really thought
about why mom always asked
if any one needed to go
to the bathroom
before we ever set
out on a journey
until now.

Funny....
It always seemed
to just be habit
to go from the out set
because we were always
"programmed" to
"go weather you need to or not
cause I ain't stoppin'.”
That second nature
gene reaction
prior to getting
in a
car,
bus,
boat,
train,
or plane.

So why is it
I find myself in this
predicament
in my adult years
walking towards the rear
of this cramped little plane,
that sounds like someone
attached wings to a blender,
praying there's some sort
of facility tucked in the rear?

I politely asked
the flight attendant,
as she peered
over a tray in her station,
"Is there a restroom?"

Looking at my 6 foot 4 inch
350 pound frame
she grinned from ear to ear
and pointed to a small
folding door
with the word
"Lavatory"
stamped in small letters
near the hinge.


She had to step
from the station to allow
me to enter this
adventure,

I knew it would be just that.

I peered in to
the made over
phone booth
then looked back
at the attendant
to see her
fighting off a chuckle.

Carefully sliding through the door,
I found myself
having to bend over
due to a low ceiling
and a smoke detector
stuck in my temple.

Knees and back bent,
I was thanking
my yoga teacher
for the multiple poses
she had taught me
in the previous weeks.

I proceeded to pirouette
in a circle
and get on with my business.

I sat in this space
not much larger
than my own coffin
and prayed to God,
"Grant Me the Dignity
of completing my
bodily functions
and keep this flyin' blender
from being plucked
out of the sky

until I return to my seat
Save me the humiliation
of being pried
from the wreckage
with my jeans
around my ankles."

“Whether you need to or not.............”
will never be a second thought
in the future.

     R. L. Stephenson has been livin' with the cactus and horny toads for many years. It certainly has affected his views, not to mention the few dances with peyote doin' the same. Slingin' hash, or grub to most folks, being an accomplished Executive Chef has put the groceries in the fridge and a roof over his head. He is editor/publisher of Whoopeecat Press. His work appears on various websites. Accomplishments - chapbook: "Nola in the Streets" and "Howlin' Cat Blues" - 15 poem CD.