.......been wanderin' round but I'm back, lets see what I gotta say...shambling shrug ridden characters with alias' otherwise known as my roommate. cracks me up every time and is a great source of inspiration in the ways of uncoordination, obliviousness and an all around goofy existance...burning heater on old black work shoes that never seem to wear out(thats what you get for buying the cheap ones), but no will to move or bend over and turn off said torturous device slowly cooking my ankles.
     a certain level of pain can be found enjoyable, especially in the context of infinity and existance and the fact that for the next trillion plus years after your forgotten death, you wont be feeling a god damned thing...(must remember to erase my left over file from the computers memory so as my employers or fellow employees don't find it and have me excommunicated and exiled to Antarctica or worse)...
     with another year finished, I am obliged to the mandatory reflectionary treatment of my past behaviour and performance. I enjoy the vast range of ludicrous and amusing responses to my neon orange flame hair. a fat old hag in the bread isle asked me if I was a clown. I responded that I'm sure some people think so, children adore it and the teens always compliment it. its a real treat to go out and see how people respond. I enjoy coming up with stupid answers for them. I do a lot of deer hunting or I decided to go back to my natural hair color after all these years. a new year, the real millenium, another reason to party outrageously injesting far too many drugs, too much alcohol and not enough food or sleep than my soon to be regretful body can handle. Dionysus has his hands on the puppet strings once again. one wonders if he truly has control...
     every place I've ever lived in has been run by some greedy prick fuck slum-lord who likes nothing more then to collect his rent and neglect his property. I enjoy calling these people and chastising them for their nonsense, listening to their old coot muttering excuses...life from the eyes of a social scientist I find to be so pitifully enjoyable that I am forced to masturbate once a day out of pure fascination and zest for life...
     Ive heard rumor our Christmas bonus (the one enjoyable thing of that perversed holiday) may not be this year, in exchange for some poor excuse of a party full of alcoholic dickheads, crackheads and half wits whom I know and avoid or have never met and wish I never did. once I do meet them, Im converting my assault rifle to fully automatic in anticipation of the blessed event. I watch way too much sci-fiseems.
     Ive searched too hard and actually found a woman whom some would label a girlfriend and now I wonder what I have done. calling me at work and home, she continues to bring up plans I have of parties in the future and talks as if shes going to be going with me and I look forward to when the day arrives and shes waiting at home for me to call when I am busy getting fucked up, hitting on other women never intending to phone her. shes driving me a bit insane, but she does have a vagina after all and what can you do about that? at least I have already told her straight up (not so straight maybe, it was 4 am and we had been partying all night with my biker neighbor who could barely walk home) that Im not looking for a serious relationship, though it seems a day later she forgot. I have not.
     every time I see my ex-wife shes fatter then before. it seems every pound Ive lost, shes put on 2. I look forward to the numerous parties and events coming up, knowing she'll probably be at most of them. I feel nothing for her but she seems to freak out a bit whenever I am around, so some pleasure can actually be found it that failed involvement.
     sad that my dope dealer of 5 years has moved away to Arizona and I am left alone with people who do not take their drug dealing seriously. leaving me not so high but oh so dry (which I get along with fine but its always funner to have numerous types of marijuana around) and a crazed fiending flatmate who is near intolerable and perpetually depressed, hermiting out in his bed room, forgotten at the back of the apartment except for the occasional old man hacking lung spewed periodically from his sad lungs. the hardest working slacker on the planet. Id put him up against the best of them, owning no car. he travels across town to another city where he bags groceries, often forcing his girlfriend to drive him there; blizzard, flood or meteor shower. shes a true saint.
     I serve food to people I dont even know, but they eat it anyway, (I know better)down to my last few hits of that beautiful sheet of acid, saving those last ones for some special cosmic emergency. my mind feels about two pounds lighter from all the shapeshifting and time travel Ive done. I wish you were here. what color is your third eye?...
     after bumming about in politics for a bit, Ive decided its for all our best interests if I just keep my fucked up opinions and attitude out of that arena before I drive myself insane and tempt those around me with plotting murder, but if the world needs a dictator, give me a call.
     I used to think I truly was insane, but then I realized I was only married. my ex thought she was married, it turns out she is just truly insane. if hand grenades were truly pocket sized, Id be glad to carry one for all our personal protection.
     my family is always hostile to each other, always has been, youd get warmer regards from a psychotic ex-Navy SEAL prisoner of war on a PCP binge, at least some things in life are constant. its reassuring, it also makes Christmas shopping a hell of a lot easier.
     I have accomplished far more then I had ever hoped in the last year, 2000 was the best of my life and I still went to the emergency room 3 times. maybe this year Ill be in a coma for a week and have an even better year. I see more and more cameras up staring down upon us in public places. I know where this is going. where we'll be in 5 years, 10 years, 50 years, be on your guard, its not like it used to be, never will be again. in the contemporary world, we are all suspects certain people can never be rationalized with, but I find it amusing to try. the irrational can often be as enlightening as any other soul, in their own funktacular way. my porn library has grown to epic proportions in the last couple of years, at this rate there wont be room for both me and my pornos in my apartment. Id rent them out, but Im a jealous lover. drunken car wrecks, motorcycle accidents, ODs, suicides, the deaths of those I once knew are increasing with time, all preventable. they could not be helped Im sure, but being dead, they dont have to worry about their lifestyles getting the best of them anymore. short live the foolhardy!
     if you depend solely upon the public school system for your education, your destined to be an idiot. I never learned anything in school I couldnt have taught myself or didnt already know (I didnt say I got good grades). if I start one more book while Im still reading the dozen or so I already have going, and never finish it, then I guess that means all is well and typical. I sure could use a computer and am damned glad I dont have one.
     where I live the Mississippi, river runs east to west, a confusing idea to many who depend upon the stone tablet notion that it runs north to south, explaining this to some people is a futile task, this unconventional part of the river makes a fine home to my own unconventional ass. Ive found that I have somehow garnered the ability to manipulate most people pretty well. I can direct them as I wish without them knowing it, though I rarely do so. I do find it helpful in bettering those peoples lives in my determination and allowing them to experience and learn things that I desire them to know. all those years of studying human behavior and interaction have truly paid off. I am a watcher, though I do sometimes give gentle nudges to start the motions. I do not think this is a bad thing. most are so unaware and daily helpless.
     I suppose I am a bit arrogant, but its a survival trait, Ive gone to great lengths to think Im better then most everyone else, and if Im not better then you, I will embrace you as a peer and teacher never letting you out of my sight. I find some of my own actions hard to bear on occasion, but the harshness of some of my doings does lead to a nobler end purpose, and I usually attempt to travel other routes before going to the extreme.
     I reassure myself that tough love is a fact of life and its the only way some will learn. I wonder who I was 4 years ago. looking back at someone elses life that does not appear to have been my own. I have been at least a half dozen entirely different people over the years; a bully, racist hater with no sense of self control and a huge capacity for vengeance, a survivor and a hood, a studious athlete devoted to one woman, dedicated to my studies and disgusted at the idea of using drugs or alcohol in my life surrounded by alcoholics and abusers, a mindless creature of zero will, pushed along in a direction not of my own choosing, barely surviving day to day, suicidal and hopeless, hoping for a quick end to a slow death, and now, a sponge for knowledge, aware of so many faults and living life to its fullest, greatest potential, knowing when I die that I had lived a righteous life, a true life, happy to be gone with what I had, wanting of nothing. I wonder who I will be next and hope only the best for myself.
     in our failings we have the potential to truly succeed, nothing we ever truly learned comes easy. a few new friends, a few dead and gone, older and wiser and crustier, better off than the year before. I pray to the pagan gods that the next goes nearly as well as the last and I desire this and more for you and yours. remember, if pants are outlawed only outlaws will wear pants...

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Goo is a 27 year old individual whop. stresses he is an individual. sporting a head of flourescent orange hair these days, he trains both his brain and his body preparing to one day do battle with God. His latest aspiration is to win a toughman contest before he is too old and crusty to do so. He lives in Iowa with his freak roommate all the while being stalked by numerous mentally ill ex-girlfriends and lovers. he was once married and then got better.     Goo is a strange fellow, on one hand he bluffs his way through life, never revealing his hand, on the other he shares every bit of personal information with anyone willing to listen, never keeping skeletons in his closet when he can show them to others. a difficult fellow to figure out, he has the most difficult time understanding himself. his life is full of duality, always searching and experiencing new things, the good along with the bad. he hopes to one day start a revolution.      Goo almost has a degree in sociology and anthropology, but he's too much of a slacker to have completed his BA before 30. He wants a good woman, but as soon as he gets into a relationship, he wishes he were single again.      Goo has no enemies and tries to be friends to all of gods creatures even the pitiful loser ones. He is upfront and in your face with his writings and never holds back. its made many a person pissed beyond belief at him, but he doesn't really care, all in the pursuit of good literature and enlightenment.